A Mirror is Harder to Hold

There are days when you just need to be by yourself. Today, I choose to put my headphones in and listen to music. I thought a lot about what I was listening to as well as I found myself hitting repeat on certain songs or the need to hear a couple others. Therefore, as of right now I have listened to the same 5 songs for about 6 hours straight.

1. Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad by Def Leppard

2. A Mirror is Harder to Hold by Jon Foreman

3. Animal by Neon Trees

4. New Low by Middle Class Rut

5. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi

These five songs pretty much explain exactly how I am feeling at this moment. I find it quite interesting that what you listen to is a direct explanation of the mood you are in. I can explain each one of these songs and how they seem to fit into my life at the moment. Even now as I sit here reflecting on them its amazing to me. Animal explains my current relationship to a T, and I never even realized it. When Neon Trees sing "Hush, hush the world is quiet. Hush, hush we both can't fight it. It's us that made this mess. Why can't you understand?" I feel tingles on my arms and realize I understand the sentiment. I fight my feelings everyday, as does he. The problem is the fact that the realization of those feelings are crashing down around us and we can't keep up the charade anymore.

New Low may be about prison, except when I hear it I think of the four walls that surround me and are keeping me from my own happiness. The part that I relate to the most is, "So many directions I don't know which way to go I'm so busy doing nothing I got nothing to show." Right now, I have my whole life ahead of me, except I have nothing to show for what I want to do, what I am doing and what I have done.

A Mirror is harder to hold just causes me to reflect on my own life. Whenever I hear it, I realize that I can't judge the world because the truth is its harder to look at yourself. Then Bed of Roses, and have you ever needed someone so bad are just beautiful desperate love songs. When I hear them I hear the pain, and sorrow and need for someone to be there. To love someone. To give everything you have to them.

These songs at the moment represent who I am, and by reflecting on each lyric and why I feel the way I do; I realize that not only do have a lot of stuff to figure out, I need to give myself the time to come to terms with my own decisions.