Questions

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, creating a deep sense of foreboding to be honest. I keep coming back to the same question over and over. What am I supposed to do with my life? It is a fair question for everyone. Does anyone know the answer?? I am guessing not, we can only take leaps of faith and hope with all of our heart that it is what we were meant to do. I was reading a paper today about cutting ones life short, that way people may do everything that want and love. However, I do not agree wholeheartedly with that point of view. Yes, life should be lived fully doing all that you want to do with it. Except, I feel even if people have shortened lives we may still do the job that lines our pocket instead of the job that we truly love.

Even as I contemplate that question I am thinking of myself. I would love to be able to sit inside a coffee shop all day developing my characters, writing my book or on my blog and enjoying some coffee. Regardless though, of what I want. I have bills that pile up, I have responsibilities and sadly enough I barely find the time to just sit around and do what I love. Yes, I wish I could quit my job and follow my life's dream but that seems extremely improbable. One day however, I will be able to enjoy a day in a coffee shop, writing without a worry in the world. But until then, I sit in my Dad's living room, procrastinating the homework that is due in a days time and thinking of days when worries will not bother me.

Mindless Drabble

I have spent the entire day writing, writing what I cannot say but I feel as if the words that have been flowing are more important than they seem to at first. Have you ever felt like that? Like you have so much to say but you do not honestly know what it is that you have to say. The words remove themselves from my brain in a fury and yet I do not understand what they are completely saying. I just want to feel, I want to feel and understand and question and I want to continue speaking my mind. I want to fully believe that anything I say will make a difference that I am not just speaking to a blank wall.

Let me continue on a different subject. I do not think I really know much about his blogging thing. I mean really everything I am saying means nothing really. Its just some mindless drabble that I myself find important enough to share with everyone on the internet. Hmm.. I wonder if anyone actually reads this..