35,000?!?!?! Where do I even begin???

I have been out of the loop for a good month I think :/ It was good for me though, I needed to evaluate some things and think about how my life is going right now. It seems weird to be a 22 year old college graduate, however, if seems even stranger that I have allowed myself to stand idle. I am not usually the kind of person who stands backs and forgets to live but that is exactly what I have been doing. In the past month my roommate Mike and I got into a huge fight. Honestly, I am not entirely sure what it was about but it took us 2 weeks to actually apologize. In that time I went and stayed with my dad.

Those 2 weeks reminded me as to why I live on my own. I love my father to death but being home is kind of a life sucker for me. I don't go out and do anything. I have no motivation and all I did was work and sit around. Well... I also became slightly addicted to the show True Blood which is totally amazing. And this will not be the only time I ever mention it. But that is a whole other story for another day entirely :) Back to this past month.

I think I may have ruined a started relationship. If that is what you call it.. It was 3 years of tension all boiled down to one evening when we finally allowed ourselves to explore the idea of a relationship. Except, I did what I always do and I cut him off. I have barely talked to him in the past month and I won't even go see him.  I am a basketcase :) But I am dealing. I'll figure something out, I usually do.

Well... I also decided to get another job :D Oh boy.. Now I am going to overwork myself but its all for a good cause. I got the total for my student loans.... $35,000... Private college sucks :(

Now to begin the next chapter. I'm home, working, and seemingly at ease with things. I hope it stays this way. And I hope 35,000 dollars disappears really fast!!!!!!!!

Until the next time..
Enjoy life :)

The Story of the Exes

So maybe this won't be advice, maybe it will be something we all can relate too. Everyone has them those men and woman who we consider to be our exes. We do everything we can to rid ourselves of them, except sometimes they are sneaky and you never rid yourself of them. I am pretty good at keeping my exes where they belong. They are my exes for a reason, and if I really thought they would have been good for me they would never have become an ex in the first place. Which leads me to my ramble of the day. My roommate has two exes too which he refuses to rid himself of.

1. The one from high school: This is the ex that leads to most peoples downfall. We fancy them to be our first love, our only true love and every guy and girl after we compare to this person. And this is what leads to our downfall and why this ex, will always be in our life. Especially if we let them be. My roommate does not seem to realize this, he brings these girls in and expects me to be cordial. As if. I know that girl, I was that girl and the only intention we have is to make your life hell since you left us in the first place. So congratulations, I hope the past does not keep you trapped for too long.

2. The latest ex: This is the ex, that we are still trying to work things out with. Make whatever went wrong right. So we still hang out with them, text them. Therein lies the problem, what went wrong will always be a problem. Issues have never magically disappeared. I am guilty of this, although lately I have become a little heartless and just leave my ex where he belongs. On the other hand however, my roommate continues to visit her for once a week. Calls her, texts her and dotes upon her. When will we ever learn? Some things do not change.

It is hard to let go of certain people, and I know that it is impossible to completely forget. However, there is a fine line, we cannot continue to let people who are no good for us stay in our lives and ruin any chance of finding a new more compatible partner.

Here's to the future :)

A Focus

I feel like a need a theme to this blog. A reason to write. And I think I found it, simply put everyone needs help with relationships. We all have issues, questions, and sometimes its nice to have someone to talk about everything. At work I am considered a guru, I give answers for questions and am very equipped with knowledge that I sometimes am not sure how I come by. However, advice is my thing. I am good at it, and I know what some people are curious about. Therefore, I am making this blog about all the ins and outs of relationships. Jealousy, exes, communication, sex, dates, rules, and anything else that may come to mine. I may be terrible at keeping a boyfriend, but I am damn good at understanding men and women. :)

Feelings, what are those?

Relationships. The bane of my existence. To put it simply, I suck at them. I can find a guy that is the easy part, they like me that too is easy. However, I have this issue called running. When I guy likes me that is my first instinct that is why my greatest relationships are with guys that challenge me, that make me hate them. It is a strange way to live really. I tend to 'talk' to a guy for a long time before backing out when he admits anything to me. Needless to say, I found one that I really, really like. Too much actually. We had been talking everyday, all day for the past month. Then it stops. Out of the blue. And for once, I am at a loss. Kind of hurt and confused. This is why I hate relationships, that feeling is not right. I hate not understanding the situation I am in. I want to know everything about why it happened. I am so laid back that it is hard to believe that when something like this happens my mind kicks into overdrive and I want to know WHY?!?!

A Toy with a Title?!

When one thing goes wrong, everything follows. Is that one of Murphy's Laws? I think so. I mean really, how unlucky does one person have to be in a given day! Work was, one pissed off person after another. Therefore, my attitude was already at an all time low. Then I drive home. There is one thing that almost pisses me off more than anything else in the world and that is my best friends girlfriend. And all of the sudden bam, there is her car. Walk in the house and there she is on my couch and my temper is out the window. I grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and proceed to my back porch. I said nothing to anyone. I couldn't otherwise, I would have ended up yelling. Probably not good. Especially because I am supposed to be faking like I like this dumb ass girl. Ha. The joke is on you buddy, every moment that she is here I have been going over and over in my head how best not to punch her. That fake smile I wear, yeah I hope you like it. No one else does. When you ask if something is wrong? Why would I tell you, its almost impossible now.

How does a best friend, ask you to fake like his girlfriend? Shouldn't you just like her automatically. Plus, the faking is never going to be REAL, therefore this is a sham. Just like your entire relationship with her. Are you faking it too?? Oh.. now I get it. I live in a house full of liars. Well, congratulations. I must admit though, the day you finally dump her dumb ass I will be dancing, and drinking and being merry!!! Because guess what that may be one of the greatest days of my life.

Now, I know I am rating. But come on, I cannot be the only one who has ever disliked their best friends significant other. And just because he is a guy does not mean I am jealous of her. (Way too many people point that out to me. But guess what?!?! I am actually able to be great friends with a guy and not want to be with him. He is in fact my best friend. And that is all he will ever be.) But back to the jealousy, HA. Like I would be jealous of a girl who is just a toy with a title.

Hmm... I am feeling good about what is happening right now. Getting this out is reassuring. I hope you understand what I am saying here. We all have those people in our lives whom we cannot wait to dispose of, until then I say sweet dreams and I hope everyone the best! :)